Win Back Love Blog

It seems the list of reasons for a relationship blowing up is unending. The things that irritate or infuriate us about each other can sometimes seem so long it’s a wonder that anyone stays together at all. But when you stop looking at every little individual thing, it’s possible to group reasons together, and you’ll find that when you do that, it is much easier to see what to avoid.

The vast majority of all breakups are caused by the following groups of triggers: Stop your break up by avoiding these mistakes

1. Infidelity

It’s a big one! Relationships are born on trust, and the cornerstone of that trust, in a traditional relationship at least, is an exclusive physical bond. When one of the partners breaches that trust by becoming physically intimate with someone else, the setback is very difficult to recover from. If the relationship survives the initial incident there is always going to be doubt about the level of trust between you. The best way of recovering from this problem is never to put yourself in the position in the first place.

2. Boredom

Some relationships just get dull. One partner or the other, or sometimes both, will just realize they are not having fun in the relationship anymore. The worst part is when two people realize they are still together out of habit, not out of love. Restoring a flame is certainly possible, but when your relationship gets to this point you need to realize that it is going to take some real effort to pick it up and get going again.

3. Too Much Control/Not Enough Freedom

From either side of the fence this is dangerous. A controlling partner wants to train someone into their idea of a perfect partner. Generally they won’t trust them enough to give them freedom to grow and be themselves. When you don’t trust your partner it is always very difficult to be in a relationship. From the other perspective, having a controlling partner is a nightmare. You simply don’t have room to be you or freedom to enjoy the things that make you unique. You are smothered and unhappy. It’s not the end of the road when a relationship goes down this path, but it is very difficult for a controlling partner to give up their control.

4. Conflicts

When you are a couple there is plenty to argue over. Money is usually amongst the top things to trigger an argument. Sometimes it’s hard enough to run your own life without having to deal with someone else’s. Couples can argue over anything from the way he looked at another girl to the way she looks in a dress. The list is really endless. Where you find yourselves arguing a lot it’s best to take a bigger picture look and ask if you are arguing about the toilet seat being left up, or whether the true cause of your frustration is something deeper than that.

5. The Little Things

Here I’m talking about those little annoyances that grate and grate over time and become big annoyances. Anything from cracking knuckles to the way he chews his food can be a n annoyance that grows over time. Luckily it’s usually pretty easy to straighten these out. Just take a chill pill and don’t be bugged by them so much. Where that’s not possible let your partner know they are annoying you. They probably have no idea, and with a little conscious effort can stop the offending habit relatively quickly.

Get your ex back and make sure your relationship is stronger than ever. Check out Win Back Love: How To Get Back The Love Of Your Life, by Annalyn Caras.

When a relationship breaks up it is very common for one of the partners to realize that the feelings they had were much deeper than they realized and that they would be prepared to do just about anything to get back together again.

This can of course be difficult if certain things were said during the break up or if the relationship ended badly. It’s quite possible your ex will have cut off all communication with you and stopped going to the places you both frequented, just to avoid you. If they don’t want anything to do with you it’s very difficult to get communication going again, and you may even have to allow them their cooling off period to show that you respect their wishes for time apart.

But after you have given them a little space, you need to be able to let them know that you still care deeply for them and want to give things another go. How you go about getting them from not talking to you, to establishing communication is a delicate matter.

The simplest way is to simply call and ask them if there’s a time you can catch up. If they are not talking to you at all you can expect a pretty chilly response to that. So bear that in mind, and be prepared to approach them with a peace offering. You could start by saying you have a few things you feel you need to apologize for and ask if they would mind meeting for lunch.

If the direct approach fails you can employ a go-between. Be careful with this, because it can totally suck when you are caught between two ex-friends. You need to find a friend that both you and your partner trust, and you need to tell them how much you would like to get back together and how sincere you are. Ask them if they would mind having a quiet chat with your ex and seeing if there is any way you can make up your former mistakes. And leave it at that. Don’t bug your friend, don’t expect a call the next day and don’t be offended if they say they don’t want to get involved (in fact, you should make sure they understand they are under no obligation to get involved - you are asking a big favor here). You need to be completely honest about the fact your goal is to get back together. Don’t try and play it cool - the time for that is passed.

If that fails, write your thoughts down in a letter. Stay sincere and don’t let your letter get long winded. When it is done let it sit for 24 hours then read over it again and make sure it says exactly what you want it to. The thing with a letter is making sure it gets to the right person and gets opened. Hand deliver it, acknowledge any mistakes you may have made and any hurt you may have caused. Apologize and ask them to read the letter and let you know if there’s any way you can make it up to them.

When you are trying to re-establish contact with someone where a relationship has ended badly you have to be sincere and open yourself up for a rejection. Don’t constantly pester them, but rather give them some space and let them know you will be ready for them whenever they are prepared to give things another shot.

Talk to your ex now. If these techniques don’t work, don’t fret. Check out Win Back Love: How To Get Back The Love Of Your Life, by Annalyn Caras, for a complete step-by-step blueprint to get your ex back.

3 Simple Steps To Save Your Marriage

When two people make the commitment to marriage they are saying that they want to spend the rest of their life with each other. It is a beautiful vow that declares there is only one person that they want to be with, and they are prepared to stick with that person, “in sickness and in health, in good times and bad” for ever and ever. Sadly it doesn’t always work that way. In the United States nearly half of all marriages end in divorce. Think of the last two weddings you attended. Statistically one of those will fail.

The problem tends to be that sticking together in good times is easy and enjoyable to do, but when you are talking about the not so good times many people take ending it as the easiest option. But your marriage doesn’t have to end badly, with a little work you can save it and return to the happier times. There is a very simple three step process that you should follow to go from the situation you are in now, where you are looking for a solution, through to the situation you want to be in, where your marriage is as happy as it once was.

Here are 3 guidelines to follow. A more detailed step-by-step blueprint can be found in Win Back Love.

Step One: Decide That You Want It.

This may sound like a simple step, but it’s really not. In fact it is probably the hardest step of the three. It’s all very well to say you want to save your marriage. But it’s all very well to say you want to lose weight as well, and we all know that doesn’t necessarily mean it is going to happen. When you decide you want it you need to make this your number one focus in life. Your purpose in life needs to become singular. Your purpose for existence is now simply this: saving your marriage. What does that mean? If it means losing your job then you lose your job. If you aren’t prepared to do that your job is more important that your marriage. If it means not catching up with friends then you don’t catch up with friends. If you aren’t prepared to do that then your friends are more important than your marriage. Everything you are doing you should be asking “will this help fix my marriage?”. The answer should always be yes.

Step Two: Figure Out What Is Wrong.

Again, this is not as easy as it sounds. Usually the things that trigger arguments aren’t the underlying problems, and it is the underlying problems you need to get to. Sit down with your partner, acknowledge things are not how you would like, and be open about how you are both feeling in the relationship. It’s usually best to let the man go first when you do this. The best way of starting this conversation is by asking “How can I make you happier?”. A man’s first natural response to that is probably going to be sexual. Don’t assume he is joking or being crude. Very often a man needs a strong physical component in a relationship, so take the response on board. Then say “Okay, what else.”

Step Three: Fix It

Once you have acknowledged a problem, and defined it, it becomes so much easier to actually see what the steps are to fixing it. The problem almost always contains the solution. If the problem is “I don’t feel I have enough time with you” then the solution has already presented itself. Likewise if it is “I don’t have enough time to myself” you can move the other way. The key is to identify the real problems and have an honest shot at fixing them.

So there you have the tips to save your marriage. It may sound simple but there are easy strategies you can employ to achieve them and save your marriage. Don’t ever give up!

Get your marriage back on track and build a bond that can never be broken. Check out Win Back Love: How To Get Back The Love Of Your Life, by Annalyn Caras.