Win Back Love Blog

I just wanted to give special thanks to all our Mothers today.
I’m glad we get this chance today to pay tribute to all
our mothers and I truly hope we honor her
throughout the year as well.

A mother’s love is without measure. Her patience is
neverending.

Mothers love us even when they are stressed, overworked,
tired, or even sad.

They are our caretakers, our teachers, our friends,
our confidants, our biggest fans, our role models,
and so much more.

Abraham Lincoln said of his mother: “All that I am or
ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother.” I know
I am not alone when I say I share that same
sentiment for my own dear mother!

If you are a mother, let me be please wish you a
truly Happy Mother’s Day and I hope it is a fantastic
day for you.

In honor of our mother’s, I’ve created a Mother’s Day
Special Offer. Check it out now at Win Back Love .

All the best to you,

Annalyn

Relationship Advice , Love, Mother

Last week we talked about how the 5 ways to reestablish trust from our partner.

But what if you are the one who is learning to trust again? Well, there’s some work for you to do too. It may be tough at first, but the rewards are many and it is worth it!

This may not apply to your situation now, but it is my hope that it will apply soon.

When you get back together with your ex, you’re gonna need to be able to move forward, and not set yourself up for a breakup cycle by not resolving issues of the past.

Here are the best ways to move forward and put your problems behind you so you can trust again.

1. Forgive - If your partner is willingly and sincerely taking action, then you must forgive that person. Forgiveness is a two way street. And even if you are skeptical, you still need to forgive the offense and forgive the person. Remember, forgiveness is a gift to YOU, as much, if not moreso, to the person being forgiven.

2. Communicate - Like most relationship issues, there is usually a “reason behing the reason.” Talk to them and let them know how you felt because of what happened. And try to find out what was the reason behind their action. Do this in a non-accusatory way, without blame, and you have a much better opportunity to get to the heart of the matter.

Successful relationships require two people who are good at resolving problems. You had a problem that hurt your relationship. But if you can really get to the heart of it, and really resolve the problem between the two of you, then you can kiss the problem goodbye and it won’t harm your relationship again in the future.

3. Acknowledge - If your partner is making progress in righting their wrong and reestablishing your trust, acknowledge it. Let them know you appreciate their effort and how much it means to you. Little compliments and acknowledgements go a long way!

4. Be patient - The process of reestablishing trust lasts a long time. Be patient with your spouse. And be grateful for the progress they are making. Eventually you will come to a place where you can see the change is sincere and the wrong has been righted.

5. Truly forgive - Why is this step here twice? Because many times we forgive the other person, but somewhere deep inside, we hold on to the hurt and we don’t forget what happened.

Now, this is natural. It’s our own defense mechanism to protect us from getting hurt again.

And, of course, we will never forget what happened. But we have to truly forgive and let go of it.

Meaning, we have to forget about it as much as possible. If we don’t, this problem could rear it’s head in other ways. Therapist offices are filled with many people who have unknowingly hurt their loved one in various ways because of the leftover hurt and bitterness of an unresolved offense many years prior.

** If you are religious, it helps to develop the habit of praying together every day, usually just before bed. It is pretty much impossible to stay mad at your loved one when you pray together and it will bring you closer together.

I realize you may be apart from your loved one and some of this may not apply to you now. But I’m confident you will be together again, and when that happens you’ll need to be able to know how to move forward without getting tripped up by issues of the past.

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I Recently got a message from Eddie who writes:

“I broke my ex’s Trust, and currently feels that it can not be re-earned.
Any thoughts would be great.”

Thanks for the message Eddie and hopefully many people can benefit as we bring this issue to light. I’ll try and help as much as I can.

If you need to re-establish trust in your relationship, here are the steps to take. This is the best and most honest way re-gain the trust of your ex.

1. Apologize. Trust building starts with a true, sincere, honest, heart-felt apology. You must show remorse for any wrong doing on your part. Tell your ex you know you have hurt them and that you broke their trust. Take responsibility for your actions. Do not make excuses. And do not ask for anything in return.

Maybe it’s been awhile since you’ve spoken to your ex. It doesn’t matter. Call them up. You’ll feel better and so will they.

Remember, we’re not begging, bartering, pleading or negotiating here. We’re apologizing. No matter the circumstance, it’s always a good thing to apologize when it is necessary.

2. Listen. It’s important to truly listen to your ex at this point. Again, don’t make excuses. Acknowledge their pain. Obviously you don’t want to be judgemental, argumentative, or defensive.

It’s most important to listen at this time, be understanding, and acknowledge the thoughts and feelings your ex shares with you.

3. Right the wrong. Be accountable for whatever you may have done which caused the trust to be broken. The best way to do this is to rectify the problem if possible. For example, if there was a relationship with someone else, end it. If there was something stolen, return it. These examples may not apply to you, but you get the lesson here.

Take it a step further and let your ex know when you are again tempted to do that which originally broke the trust. This isn’t to punish yourself, although it may feel that way at first. It’s just to demonstrate that you are being accountable, and taking action to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Actions DO speak louder than words!

4. Consistency is the key. Take advantage of all opportunities to prove your trustworthiness. Like the old saying goes - “one misstep can eliminate 10 atta-boys.” The best way to do this is by being considerate and honest in all things, no matter how small they may appear.

5. Be patient. Don’t expect immediate results. Depending on the circumstance, the path to trustworthiness may require baby steps. But if you are consistent in your actions, you will get there. Your love can and will trust you again.

Maybe you didn’t commit the offense in your relationship that caused the trust to be compromised. Perhaps it was your ex. Do you need to forgive your ex and trust again?

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