Win Back Love Blog

Everyday I get messages from good people just like you who are having a hard time dealing with their breakup.

Many tell me how they cannot live without their ex.

They remember the promises and pledges they made to each other.

Many feel that their identity has somehow changed because they’ve been the dedicated
husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend for so long. They’re trying to figure out what their role is now.

It’s hard to deal with so many of the feelings we experience after a breakup.

In light of all this, I just wanted to give you a simple reminder that I truly hope is helpful.

I apologize in advance for it’s simplicity. You probably already know what I’m
about to say….

But some of you might need a gentle reminder and it is with that in mind that I share it now.

Please remember that, although your relationship has changed, you’re still a wonderful person.

In fact, you still possess the unique traits and character qualities that you did before your relationship began.

Although many things may have happened in your relationship, and your situation has changed, you’re still a good person.

Have you changed at all? Probably. Going through a breakup brings about changes for us all.

You discover things about yourself you may have never known.

Perhaps you are stronger than you ever imagined.

Perhaps you have discovered you know how to do a lot of things that your ex previously did for you.

Mark my words, whether or not you get back together with your ex, you will come out of this stronger.

I wish I could say that all of you reading this will get back together with your ex’s.

Many of you will, but sadly some won’t. We all have our free will, even our ex’s.

But you can weather the storm if you are true to yourself and love yourself.

Pray and also draw strength from your friends and family.

Be active. Do things you’ve always wanted to do.

Sure, we all need to be alone and grieve sometimes. But don’t let it linger.
Life IS good. So are you. So get out there and enjoy it!

I hope this message comes across with the spirit in which it was intended.

No one can tell you how to feel, and I know you may not be feeling too good these days.
But I hope you realize the good in yourself, and in your life and the fact that you will be loved again.

Let that first person to love you be the most important person of all….. you!

All the best,
Annalyn

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Last week we talked about how the 5 ways to reestablish trust from our partner.

But what if you are the one who is learning to trust again? Well, there’s some work for you to do too. It may be tough at first, but the rewards are many and it is worth it!

This may not apply to your situation now, but it is my hope that it will apply soon.

When you get back together with your ex, you’re gonna need to be able to move forward, and not set yourself up for a breakup cycle by not resolving issues of the past.

Here are the best ways to move forward and put your problems behind you so you can trust again.

1. Forgive - If your partner is willingly and sincerely taking action, then you must forgive that person. Forgiveness is a two way street. And even if you are skeptical, you still need to forgive the offense and forgive the person. Remember, forgiveness is a gift to YOU, as much, if not moreso, to the person being forgiven.

2. Communicate - Like most relationship issues, there is usually a “reason behing the reason.” Talk to them and let them know how you felt because of what happened. And try to find out what was the reason behind their action. Do this in a non-accusatory way, without blame, and you have a much better opportunity to get to the heart of the matter.

Successful relationships require two people who are good at resolving problems. You had a problem that hurt your relationship. But if you can really get to the heart of it, and really resolve the problem between the two of you, then you can kiss the problem goodbye and it won’t harm your relationship again in the future.

3. Acknowledge - If your partner is making progress in righting their wrong and reestablishing your trust, acknowledge it. Let them know you appreciate their effort and how much it means to you. Little compliments and acknowledgements go a long way!

4. Be patient - The process of reestablishing trust lasts a long time. Be patient with your spouse. And be grateful for the progress they are making. Eventually you will come to a place where you can see the change is sincere and the wrong has been righted.

5. Truly forgive - Why is this step here twice? Because many times we forgive the other person, but somewhere deep inside, we hold on to the hurt and we don’t forget what happened.

Now, this is natural. It’s our own defense mechanism to protect us from getting hurt again.

And, of course, we will never forget what happened. But we have to truly forgive and let go of it.

Meaning, we have to forget about it as much as possible. If we don’t, this problem could rear it’s head in other ways. Therapist offices are filled with many people who have unknowingly hurt their loved one in various ways because of the leftover hurt and bitterness of an unresolved offense many years prior.

** If you are religious, it helps to develop the habit of praying together every day, usually just before bed. It is pretty much impossible to stay mad at your loved one when you pray together and it will bring you closer together.

I realize you may be apart from your loved one and some of this may not apply to you now. But I’m confident you will be together again, and when that happens you’ll need to be able to know how to move forward without getting tripped up by issues of the past.

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Wanna know what’s keeping you from getting back together with your ex?

Chances are it is one of the top 3 reasons couples do not get back together.

1. Fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of being hurt. Fear of what your ex will say. Fear of putting yourself out there “on the line.” Fear of the unknown — what COULD happen!

It’s enough to hinder you to the point of inaction.

But the fact remains, if you don’t “put yourself out there” sometimes, you won’t get anywhere. No risk, no reward.

Don’t be afraid. As long as you avoid the mistakes from the Biggest Breakup Mistakes series, only good things can happen!

2. Pride. This runs neck and neck with fear as a top reason couples are unable to get back together.

Let’s face it, at the end of a relationship, things are said and done which are often regrettable.

Our feelings are hurt. Our egos are damaged. And in order to recover and cope with the breakup, we cling to our pride.

Add to that our basic human desire to be “right.”

We desperately want to believe that we are in the right, and our ex is in the wrong.

It’s our way of telling ourselves that we are ok. There’s nothing wrong with this. We are ok and it’s good that we think well of ourselves during tough times like this.

But often our pride prevents us from moving int he right direction with our ex’s.

It prevents us from saying how we REALLY feel. Or it prevents us from really tackling the core reason why you broke up in the first place.

Frankly, we would be best served by humbling ourselves and opening ourselves up to our special someone. If your ex is indeed your true love, you should be able to demonstrate humility, let go of your pride and be completely open and honest.

If you are can overcome your pride, then chances are you can overlook past mistakes and forgive your ex. Or maybe it will give you the strength to ask for forgiveness yourself if it is needed. Or it will help you to tackle the real issues that are keeping you apart.

3. Inability to overcome obstacles.

Many times we allow an obstacle to get in the way of reconciling. It’s just too easy to say “oh well, I tried.” I know because I’ve done it!

But in the end, there’s a solution for every obstacle. That’s right, every one of them.

Despite what the gurus would have you believe, there are no solutions that work 100% of the time, simply because we all possess free will to do as we please. If anyone tells you otherwise, run (don’t walk) in the other direction!

That said, there are things we can do to overcome all obstacles. For every situation, there is a solution.

Let me say that again….

For every situation, there is a solution.

I have seen miracles in my own relationships, and now I have seen it play out successfully for thousands around the world who have learned the do’s and dont’s from this newsletter and Win Back Love.

Please give it a try now and see for yourself –

http://www.WinBackLove.com/

All the best,
Annalyn

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