3 Simple Steps To Save Your Marriage
3 Simple Steps To Save Your Marriage
When two people make the commitment to marriage they are saying that they want to spend the rest of their life with each other. It is a beautiful vow that declares there is only one person that they want to be with, and they are prepared to stick with that person, “in sickness and in health, in good times and bad” for ever and ever. Sadly it doesn’t always work that way. In the United States nearly half of all marriages end in divorce. Think of the last two weddings you attended. Statistically one of those will fail.
The problem tends to be that sticking together in good times is easy and enjoyable to do, but when you are talking about the not so good times many people take ending it as the easiest option. But your marriage doesn’t have to end badly, with a little work you can save it and return to the happier times. There is a very simple three step process that you should follow to go from the situation you are in now, where you are looking for a solution, through to the situation you want to be in, where your marriage is as happy as it once was.
Here are 3 guidelines to follow. A more detailed step-by-step blueprint can be found in Win Back Love.
Step One: Decide That You Want It.
This may sound like a simple step, but it’s really not. In fact it is probably the hardest step of the three. It’s all very well to say you want to save your marriage. But it’s all very well to say you want to lose weight as well, and we all know that doesn’t necessarily mean it is going to happen. When you decide you want it you need to make this your number one focus in life. Your purpose in life needs to become singular. Your purpose for existence is now simply this: saving your marriage. What does that mean? If it means losing your job then you lose your job. If you aren’t prepared to do that your job is more important that your marriage. If it means not catching up with friends then you don’t catch up with friends. If you aren’t prepared to do that then your friends are more important than your marriage. Everything you are doing you should be asking “will this help fix my marriage?”. The answer should always be yes.
Step Two: Figure Out What Is Wrong.
Again, this is not as easy as it sounds. Usually the things that trigger arguments aren’t the underlying problems, and it is the underlying problems you need to get to. Sit down with your partner, acknowledge things are not how you would like, and be open about how you are both feeling in the relationship. It’s usually best to let the man go first when you do this. The best way of starting this conversation is by asking “How can I make you happier?”. A man’s first natural response to that is probably going to be sexual. Don’t assume he is joking or being crude. Very often a man needs a strong physical component in a relationship, so take the response on board. Then say “Okay, what else.”
Step Three: Fix It
Once you have acknowledged a problem, and defined it, it becomes so much easier to actually see what the steps are to fixing it. The problem almost always contains the solution. If the problem is “I don’t feel I have enough time with you” then the solution has already presented itself. Likewise if it is “I don’t have enough time to myself” you can move the other way. The key is to identify the real problems and have an honest shot at fixing them.
So there you have the tips to save your marriage. It may sound simple but there are easy strategies you can employ to achieve them and save your marriage. Don’t ever give up!
Get your marriage back on track and build a bond that can never be broken. Check out Win Back Love: How To Get Back The Love Of Your Life, by Annalyn Caras.
